Father can you hear me?

 

 

Father can you hear me?

I just woke up and as I look around my tent, I see my family. Father, my wife is so beautiful and she still loves me. I know I owe that to you. I fell apart last night and I started drinking. I know you gave me a choice. I saw the Bible on my wife's sleeping bag, but I picked up the bottle. God, can you forgive me? God we have been on the streets for several months and the winter is coming-where are we going to be? The nights are getting cold and my family is growing apart. Do I let the kids go to the state for awhile? I want us to stay together, but I can't feed them. I know the churches will be by soon and we will be able to eat. Thank you Father for sending them. We wouldn't have what little we have if it wasn't for them. I can't believe my family won't let us stay with them. I know I did wrong, but we are family. My baby girl is almost 15 and she is afraid to go to school. I know she is learning some bad things and I am so afraid for her. It was just like yesterday she was in Sunday school learning about you. Lord, I don't know if she believes in you anymore. I really can't blame her. My baby is not the same and I am losing control of her. Our little boy, he has never been in a bed. We lost our home the week he was born. We hide him, but he is growing so big. Looking into his eyes, I see so much of me. His smiles bring the little joy that I have. Lord, I am so thankful he does not know what is going on. I look at him and he is still wearing the outfit he had on for the last couple of days. What do we do when it starts getting colder? I know we can keep warm now, but I know it's not for long. Last night the raccoons ate what little bit we had. I forgot to hang the food in the air. I don't know what to do. Father can you hear me?

 

Father can you hear me?

My husband is out looking for work and the kids are still asleep. The baby was awake all night and the drunks in the next tent where not very nice. My husband fell off the wagon and he drank. I know he is a good man. I know him losing his job was not his fault. A lot of people have lost their jobs. I am thankful Lord for keeping my family together, but how long can we last out here? Lord, I want to keep believing, but it's so hard. We have been faithful. Will still attend church when we can clean up, but I feel everyone judges us. I wonder how they would feel if they were in our place. I know the churches come out and help, but do they come out because they love us or do they come just to feel good about themselves? It's hard to tell sometimes. I want to ask you Lord for help. My daughter is hanging out with a new group of people. I know they don't believe in you and they do things they shouldn't. I am begging you to show her the path she was on before we lost our home. She really is a good girl. I am afraid to tell my husband who she has been with. Lord, my heart hurts. I saw my daughter have cuts on her arm. At first I thought is was because of where we are living. The bushes are sharp. But  the cuts are hidden under her clothes. I know this is really taking a toll. She doesn't go to school. I know it has to do with the kids making fun of her. I know that she doesn't have the clothes or the supplies. Lord she is 15 and she loves you. I know she does. God save my little girl from the streets. Lord, thanks for such a sweet baby. I am starting to worry about his little cough. It is getting worse. If I take him in for a check up, I might lose him. I know he is a blessing from you, and he didn't ask to be put in this position. When he is snuggled in between me and my husband to keep him warm, I can hear his little breaths. He is so beautiful. I never have regretted having him, but I want out of this situation. Father, please can you hear me?

 

Father why have you forgotten us?

We went to church every week. We had friends at church and they said they loved us. When we lost our house, they said they would pray for us. Lord, did you hear them? I am laying here pretending to be asleep and all I can think about is my old bedroom. My comfortable bed. The clothes I had for school. My after school clothes were nicer than the clothes I have now. My school friends don't know I am living in this small tent. I do have new friends and they are so different. A couple of nights ago, one of the ladies from the next tent was smoking out of a glass tube. She asked me if I wanted to try. Lord, I am so sorry, but I did. I felt all my problems went away for a short time. When I was back to myself, I felt so bad. Lord, I know it's wrong but I've been cutting myself. It makes me think of other things. I know it's called cutting, but it's like that smoke, it takes the pain away for awhile. Why have you forgotten us? I have a baby brother, he needs to be in a home. I know Jesus was born in a manger, but he didn't live in one or did he? I don't remember. I do remember the prayer,but I don't feel I deserve to say it any longer. I was told by a couple of girls my age that there is a way to earn money. Lord, Mommy and Daddy told me to save myself for marriage. Lord, that's for people with homes. My family needs the money. My Dad has not eaten in days, Mom eats very little and the baby needs diapers. Lord will you forgive me? I just want to be a good little girl, but good girls have homes. Good girls have a Lord that listens to them. I am going to meet this guy that will make me money. He is scary, but money means more to me then what I was taught as a child of God. I don't want to be here anymore. Lord, I know you are real, but where did you go? Why have you forgotten me. Why have you forgotten my family?

 

God, are you real?

I am and drunk and I shoot heroin. I live next to a family. Not the normal family from the streets. This is a real family. I have lived on the streets for years. Sure, I had a house. The government paid for it. It may even still being paid for. However, I need to be without walls. I need to feel the rush of the drugs. I have been pulled over by cops for just walking around the streets at night. But, that's when all my friends come out. God if you are real, why have you let all this happen. I am in my fifties and I served my country. I deserve to be out here, but not that family a few feet from my tent. My life is the streets, but this family does not need to be here. I know the difference between the churches that care and the 'do gooders'. I want to know if you are real. Maybe if I make it through the night, I might look for you again. God are you real?

 

Lord, please help us!!!! My name is Michael. They call me Pastor Bubba. I love you and I know you are there. I thank you for my family. You have surrounded my family with wonderful friends. Jesus, I have seen you work. I know things happen for a reason and I know you do things in your time. I am asking you for help. I know I suffer from mental illness, but despite my illness you have the confidence in me to minister to families like the ones above. You my Lord died for our sins and like everyone in this world ran by Satan, I am a sinner, yet you use me as you would a pastor whom has grown in the ministry. You, unlike so many do not judge me, but you use me in the way you have used so many others in so many ways that serve you. Lord, unlike most people I want to thank you for showing me the other side of the tracks. I am part of a family that serves you. My wife has a huge heart that loves all, and my kids have learned to not judge others. The servants that help lead our God given ministry are the most wonderful people, they have become friends and now they are family. A family more dear to me than the one God gave me growing up. The hearts and faith in you has taught me so much. We have been given so many servants from so many different churches to serve on the front lines of Satan's war against you. Satan knows he is on borrowed time, and we know that whether it is the prayer warriors at home, the friends gathering the needs for our streets campers, to the servants facing Satan head on and teaching our campers that YES, God hears you! You have not been forgotten. We as a ministry know the battles our campers face are life changing. Lord I ask you,  no I beg you, that we are able to help the couples like the ones above.  Or homeless sleeping in eir cars, or the teenagers that have to grow up too soon.  I think of the vets that have served our country and they live in worse places than where they served. Many feel they are forgotten, like the lepers of the days of Jesus. I beg that you show us where to find the missing street people and get them through the winter. Lord, I worship you and I know you have our back. I walk the streets unafraid of the violence My only fear is that  I will miss that one person that I could be helping to know your love. Lord, help me be the child of God you intended for me to be.