R.I.P.

So, my husband just finished blogging tonight.  I was not planning on it, but I was going through some pictures he was preparing for our upcoming homeless video.  I came upon one that made me extraordinarily (spelling???) sad.  Actually ashamed.  I'll explain.  Just as in the world of work, school, church, and so on; not all personalities mesh with one another.  The same goes for our campers.  We do not naturally fall in love with every one of them we meet.  (As I write this it brings me to tears with shame and disappointment in myself).  There is one individual who I can say I did not have a love loss for.  Most who served with us know this gentleman I speak of.  He was married to another one of our campers.  His personality was crass, it rubbed most like sandpaper.  Not like a 400 or 800 grit, like a 40 or 80 grit -( I learned that from my Paw Paw who is now with our Maker and who's birthday is tomorrow-happy birthday paw paw . . . i miss you so much!)
Anyways . . .rubbed most like sandpaper.  Most times he did not speak with a sweet tongue to his wife like he should have.  This made showing him love even harder.  He had expectations that he deserved to be served by us.  Each week he had a hand written 'grocery' list of things he wanted or needed.  Anyways . . I could go on and on.  The bottom line is that in the last few months we did not see him often.  He was very isolated and unstable. In the end he ended up taking his life.   I realize that I did not cause this problem.  HOWEVER, I did not help much either.  How often did I pray for him?  I can tell you-not enough.  Not even close.  Why? Because he wasn't like me or always nice to others?  Wasn't that even more reason for me to take up the cross and pray for him?!  Well publicly I would like to apologize and ask for forgiveness of my shortcomings.  I pray that my Father will have mercy on me for not showing more compassion and love when I should have.  In addition, I hope that the memory of my short comings, stay with me the rest of my days.  May they be a reminder to love those that are hard to love because they deserve it too!  My challenge to you today is to think of that person in your life who is hard to love.  That person you know you should really show more compassion to but don't because it's hard.  Stop and say a prayer for them.  Ask God for forgiveness if you need it. 
Brother Gary, I'm sorry that I did not pray for you like I should have.  I leave this message tonight in your memory.  I hope it is a light for others that they may do what they should even when it's hard.