Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Are you afraid?


There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love." 1John 4:18


What is fear?

The dictionary definition is:

noun
1. a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid. 

The Bubba defination is:
1.Revelations the whole book 
2.My wife 

Pastor Bens 
1) Using his restroom, and someone jumping out of the shower. Lol, that would scare the crap out of him.

Okay, you may laugh at the My Wife. It honestly is not a laughing matter. I have been in love with three women in my life. Two of them where not christian, and as you know my current wife is. As a man who falls in love hard, so when a women hurts the marriage, my mental state is a mess. I do not deal well. I guess you can say I am old fashion. When my own mother was picked up for prostitution I was blown away. When my exwife cheated with my brother and friends, it was at first a heart killer. But all I had was her and my kids. When I took up trucking acrossed this great nation, I lived in my semi. I would go home to see the kids and spend the nights in my truck outside the house. I got to the point I would do my laundry at the truck stop. To prevent having to see other mens underwear mixed with my clothes. Why would I bring this up on a blog about homeless? Several reasons. We have seen so many homeless with marital problems, that it has caused them to feel so useless that getting a job or doing anything to progress in life. It freezes your motivation to live. So, they stay in their tents and let the thoughts of their failed marriage or relationship take charge. I have seen people kill themselves. I had one say that he was changing drugs because it was easier on the body, He was so depressed that he could not keep a relationship. He was so proud that he went from crack to heroin. I had a camper lose his wife and started his own tent on fire. The power of the human relationships are so amazing. It could be wonderful or deadly.
I was like that. It took my over life and froze and even lashed out at everyone. I did not have a clue. I wasn't listening to anyone. I had a house full of wonderful friends and I just could not snap out of it. This is where my wife should be granted sainthood. Granted she caused me pain, but it was because partly cause I was a punk. I lost my brotherly love for most, and I saw it in my friends. The hardest part of this whole process, is the ladies who I loved so much and introduced me as a loving man, found out that when I was not in the ministry I was a punk. I lost their respect. So, now I lost my wife's respect, I lost the respect from allot of people. Now, I can handle that, but I tell you all about this because when you come acrossed  a person on the street they could be in a bad way. allot of the times it's relationship related. As I sit here I can think of so many homeless that has had this problem. 

Satan, ok I'm not the little red baby with a pitch fork.
            
or this version of Satan, wait he looks familiar.

 
But the real Satan the devil, You know the one that caused Eve to sin. The same one that uses our past against us. The one that is very patient and has an armory of pain he will inflict on anyone of us. This horrible Demon Angel that has the knowledge of everyone in the world weakness.Our Lord knows ever hair on our head or in my case what used to be on my head, but this is the worse enemy of man out there. I know you derstand that this is an evil spirit. There is 7.125 billion people in the world.There is over 100 million homeless in the world. And the fact that this Angel of death knows everyone's weakness, and uses anything possible to bring us to an eternal death.
When I was growing up, my family kept us very protected from world news. And I heard my father talk about an event that had happened and he left the news paper of this event and the leader that caused it. To me that face became the face of Satan.

Jim Jones 

This is the face of the most demonic man I have ever seen. It has never changed for me. The power of one man can cause so much pain. Over 913 people died that day. Men, women and children. Everyone's favorite question is why did God allow this to happen. I heard a song on the radio asking the same question. The answer is simple. He sent you and me.

So, what are you doing about ministry? Not just homeless, but actually spreading the word of our Lord. Yes, this blog is about the homeless, but let's face it. There is so much to be done, before Christ comes again. We have been talking about evil and we have pictures that are frightening, so lets put a friendly faces on this blog.

There that is so much better. So, we have had so many new faces.The transition taking place is amazing. I am bummed we lost leaders, but that's what happens in a ministry. And it opens up slots for new leaders. However, once you have the bug than your in. Satan has made attempts to sabotage our ministry. And I am the first to admit, he used me as a weapon against our ministry. As much as I hate to admit it, I hurt parts of our ministry family. It might take me years, to regain their trust. But, instead of saying whatever, I vow to make any hurt feelings better. We might not get everyone back, but honestly that's up to them. 
I always have said that the first rule of the ministry is to serve our lord, second be safe, and my favorite is you need to have fun. Which is kinda weird, because we are on the front lines of the battle that started so many years ago. We inherited this through the ages, and we enjoy what we do. However, this is a battle that has been fought by many people. Think about it. In the Bible many people have fought this battle. Do you think Sodom and Gamora, had over a thousand bars or porn shops? Satan has so many new weapons to use, but we are in the end of days and God has increased his methods as well. Keep in mind though, the broad road is the most traveled, but the road of the straight and narrow leads to eternal life. Which one are you on? Since it is a narrow road and I am a big guy, just try to squeeze by. I might grab your shirt tail, but we will make it. 
I have been reading about Adam and Eve and their family. I was curious and maybe you can help me. Did the Lord put the knowledge of good and bad in the first family. I know Adam and Eve knew better.  What about Cain and Able. The Bible tells the story of Cain killing Able. Did he know that hitting his brother to the point of death, did he realize what he did. I can see it now. " Hey Able you big jerk, your taking a nap and your getting all this red stuff on me. I'm so going to tell mom and dad." or Eve when she had her first baby, and the pain she felt. "this is so not what I signed up for, Adam take your rib back right now. I want to be dirt again." Did they know what they where doing. I know the Bible talks about pain of labor, but not like as Bill Cosby says take your lower lip and pull it over your head type pain. I bet if they knew the total depths of the pain, I bet they would build walls around that tree and the next time a serpant talks invent boots and start with snake skin.What about Eve. She was perfect. What did she look? I sure she was so beautiful. Maybe not after having babies, any woman during their labor, does not feel pretty. From a man's point of view, her going through labor must not have been very fun. Nobody around. and nothing to take for pain. Since it was the first delivery can  you imagine what was going on. Eve yelling and he was like what do I do? I can see Adam right now, Eve you ate from the forbiden tree, so your on your own. And Cain wasn't around yet to show Daddy Adam how to know someone out. Today women have been granted a pardon  for anything the say or do. Most women threaten their hubbies with violent outbreaks. They also can hit their hubbies and nothing happens.The women we fall so deep in love, become very scary. All because Eve wanted to listen to a serpent. I know back the life was perfect, so she was not afraid of the snake, but now snakes are just wicket mean. I would like be sceaming and grabing anything I can, and yes I admit that snakes are one creature that should not of had a ticket on the Noah's ship. To be fair, my wife had a c-section and when myka was born I looked at my wife and we shared a moment of love I can't explain. Some people believe if you look in your partners eyes you can see your world. I did that and I know that what I saw was pure love. It was the moment that has burned a hole in my heart and it reminded me why I gave my heart to my wife. My friends, the world is so ugly, but at the moment you see below, God has granted us with three kids, and they are our blessing. So, Nicole you have my heart and one of my ribs, so we are stuck together.


This moment was a moment that was so pure and full of love. Have you ever looked into your wife's or husband and actually feel two become one? I did and we captured that exact moment. The whole world seemeed small and that room belonged to me and my wife. Though the room was packed, I can't remember anything except me, my wife and this incredible. I believe it was a gift from God.
   

All kidding aside, I decided that this is the year of Pastor Bubba. I feel the passion of what we are called to do. My mental state is stronger than ever and the plans that Christ wants me to do is filling my life. There is no room for error. We have lives to save. My first ministry is my family, but what I believe in my heart, if your reading this you are part of my family. I have so many great people that I am renewing my friendships. Do, to my brain, I have zero clue on most people. However, my wife the angel that she is, stand by me and wispers names to me, for I don't look stupid. She is amazing. I love being married for the first time, and my wife, bride and best friend, has captured my heart. She makes me want to be the best. The more I listen to her the better I am. And I never see the sofa at nights now. My heart is full and I owe allot of this to my family. And hugs are our speciality. Hugs are the key to the soul. There are couple of types of hugs. One is the kind hug you would give to your love one. Another is a sympathy hug. One is a I want to feel you boobies hug (this one happens alot, I can't blame them, we have so many beautiful sisters who go out. Finally my hugs become the Pastors hug, you know come up side and  to side and hug side to side. So, you can see we hug everyone as you see below
From homeless family
 my wife


 other homeless and church friends.


at a campers baptism


And as a ministry!!!



You see our friends on the street they don't get hugs. When they do, allot of times it's fake. Our campers are not dumb. The hearts of campers desire that clean human touch. Not unlike the rest of us. Our campers do not know how to show love, because they are forgotten and they are fearful. Fear is a weapon of Satans I said before, homeless are today's lepers. If mayor Coleman had his way, all the homeless would be put in camp and fenced in for no one to see. I even like Mayor Coleman. Maybe if the city could walk in the homeless shoes or lack of shoes.

Most of us love the snow. You know when it first snows, and that white blankets the yard. Then the sun comes out and the snow looks like it has mini diamonds on top. It's so beautiful. However, what we consider beautiful, our campers think about not waking up because of the cold. The have so much fear building up, and they grasp for anything that would take the fear away.

 There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. 1 John 4:15

I'm a big guy, but I am first to tell you, fear is so strong. To me surviving that, has been a huge struggle. The thoughts of what you fear can stop you from living. To tell you the truth, I am one wife from being homeless myself. I ruined many friendships and my family. I don't remember much lately, but my wife has shared me with somethings I did and I am ashamed of my actions. In my position, it could easily stumble campers, family and volunteers. I am still very much fearful that I have stumbled. I was the link between Christ and my Aunt. She was always there and then I lost my interest in everything. I was hurt badly, and then I became fearful of everything. Fear freezes your actions and you care about nothing. My wife knows me and she kicks my tail now. She won't let me become afraid or depressed. She is my angel.

When my wife and I hooked up, we didn't do things right. We started building on a bad foundation and from there it just got worse. Then I hit rock bottom. I am sure things could have gotten worse, but I prayed all the time. I thought about my past. I figured that my past I should have been fearful. Then I found Christ and I could have been turned my life around, but I was on the fence. Once I came home, I was determined to make everything right. Then everything changed. My family changed. As my wife said, it starts from the top. I never beleived her. Now that I am doing that, the family is back to growing with Christ. When we where dating we told each other that we want to have a home that when someone comes over they can feel the love. Last night Brother Larry came over and as he wa,s leaving he told my wife and I that he could feel the love. My wife teared up and I might have puffed out my chest. We have done it, it wasn't a two faced family, we have the Lord in our home, and we do have a loving warm home. After ten years, we finally are where we want to be. It is just a beginning and I am looking forward to growing with my wife.

The reason I bring this up is for two reasons. One is that having fear could have destroyed my family. Two there are campers that talk to us, but they hide from everyone, because thy grow a fear and they cannot grow or help themselves. I wonder something. If I was homeless living in a tent with no hope. would I become a drinker like my mom. Would I let Satan win and would I lose my faith. I am a founder with my wife and I know where my journey is, but does everyone on the streets know where they belong?

God bless you all, and please if you need a brother I am here and if I need to adopt another family member, I will never have a big enough family. 

Your Brother Always,
Bubba

Challenge: Please pray for our homeless family. Please ask the Lord to take the fear away from our friends.


I guess I have more to say!!!


I talked allot about fear. Until I was with my wife, I can be honest. I created fear for everyone, I guess it was the Devil in me, and the only way, I could lead my life. To me fear is a way of respect. This is where you say Bubba your full of it. I didn't know the truth about the Holy Spirit, God or Jesus. My friends and family where afraid of me, except for my lil sister Lyndsey. She was the female version of me, just not as violent. My best friend was my brother Sean, or what my wife would consider the Devil. The two of us together was very bad. I never knew the feeling of having the love or friendship with others unless they where afraid of you.







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