Their coming to take you away!!!!

Pastor Bubba with Garys widow Jessie

He sat on a pile of blankets that he had collected over the winter. The spring was just beginning. To most he was a tough guy. He had the mentality of a street person. The streets have made him tough and nobody should look this way. He has been here for years. He was a homeless man, a father and a husband. His wife had left him days before. It’s always been them against the world. He was no angel, but he loved his wife in his own way. He felt lost, and in the sanctuary of his shanty a group of Christians built for them, he began to feel the tears. This was something that very few people have ever seen from him. It lasted all night. He was so lost, the nightly journey to the gas station for beer didn’t happen. Around 6:30 am he was standing on the edge of the bridge only a stone’s throw from his shanty. A jogger was running by and all she saw was that Gary had a smile on his face. He knew the pain was almost over. He jumped head first into the rocks under shallow water. He lost his life, I lost a friend.

Another person we knew, Manny, always had a smile. The last time we saw him he was at our movie night. He found his spot on the grass. He traded beer for Kool-Aid and popcorn. That night he was in a good mood. He had money in his pocket from working 40 hours and he was surrounded by friends. I still look at the picture my daughter took of him. He was smiling, but unlike Gary, he was happy because life was good. As the weather changed, the mission chased everyone from sleeping in the alley. Manny, and many others were sent away, but he still found something to smile about. He moved by the highway and he was there a couple of months. One day after work he was in his tent. He had a brand new heater and propane tanks; he was set. Manny went to light his heater for a night’s rest before another day of work in the morning. Then it happened. It took less than 3 minutes and Manny was gone. The new heater blew up on him. The only things burned were his tent and anything that could identify that Manny even existed.


I could go on and on about the people lost on the streets, the Lepers of today. I guess you cannot call them Lepers, because at least people recognize Lepers. Granted by Jewish Law, Lepers had to yell out, “Lepers” if anyone was near. We don’t even give the homeless an identity. They just don’t exist. Sure, you see them on the corners with their made up signs, but 83% of them are not even homeless. To this day, Manny and Gary sit at the county morgue until they have enough boxes to fill an unmarked grave. Why? They both had a mother and father. They belonged. Once again, they were my friends. Now they are just dust in a box. And like dust on a shelf we just brush them off and they don’t exist anymore. When I have so many friends that have passed, why would I pick these two friends out? It is very simple. They, like myself, suffer from mental illness. Yes, I admit Pastor Bubba has mental illness. I’ll take this one step further. I am writing this as an inpatient in a psych ward. I am not even joking. I have known for years that something was wrong, but I was not ready to face the facts. My family doctor knew, he drugged me up. He didn’t even have me checked out. The term ‘depression’ is used so loosely these days. My doc says take two pills and call me in a month. So, during this time I am driving everyone I know away. My Grandma always said, "Time changes, but people don't." Grandma I know you’re watching, but with the deepest respect, I disagree. Time changes and people change with time. And now that I listen to my family doctor I burned my bridges. I don’t even know where I am going when I leave here. All I know is I feel like I have done something good for my kids, my wife and most of all, I did it for myself. You know what? It’s okay to be selfish about this. If you need the help, homeless or not, you owe it to yourself to be happy. I would lecture you, but number one, I can barely write this. But remember Bubba’s rule number one, don’t judge Pastor Bubba’s writing. If you do, Saturday I will only fill your plate of food halfway and I will eat the other half in front of you. Number two, like me I would get bored and take my mouse and find that X on the top right corner. You know the modern way of saying “Talk to the Hand.”


I will say, coming to the hospital Psych is the best thing I have ever done for myself. Ok, I was a coward, a very big coward, and I was afraid of the big bad nurses in Psych. Not to mention, I don’t believe they have straitjackets anywhere near my size, but I’m still looking. And the guys in the white lab coats? Nope, I guess they have the week off. I did meet, whom I believe to be one of the Jacksons. You know Michael and his brothers. The truth is I know the staff gets paid for what they do. However, there is no way they are paid enough for what they do. They have to have extra love left over from the rest of their life. In our ministry I have seen so many people that share their hearts and serve the homeless. They would give the shoes off their feet. I have seen it and done it. The staff here comes from the same place where God has made to create people with special hearts. From the first nurse, which is amazing, to the doctors. Sorry Doc, I see you for maybe 10 minutes and I see the staff all day and night. I was told yesterday I can leave Friday and, to tell you the truth, a part of me felt sad. When I leave here I will not forget what they have done for me, my ministry, my family and friends. I have burned bridges and in the short time I have been here, I believe that I can rebuild what I destroyed. Thank you 3rd floor. You are the best. And FYI, unlimited pudding….Ohhh ya!!!!


As I sit and look around, I wonder their stories. I won't say a lot, but these patients come in all makes and models. There is a young lady ranting and raving. She must be 5 foot and weigh 100 lbs. She, like my wife, is ready to take on the world. Then something happens a short time later. I look over and she is coloring a picture. An Easter bunny. She has found for those few moments her inner peace. A place where her sky is pink and everything is ok for that time. She doesn't have to talk smack or be tough. She is in her own place for that time. I said her sky is pink. Why? Well, when my wife and I first came together, she was always happy. I would ask her, what is the color of the sky in your world? She would smile and say pink. It was a happy time. Now my kids ask all the time, Dad what is the color of your sky? Now I sit here looking around and I wonder what colors are in the room? It's sad because I know some of these remarkable people will never see our pink sky. That hurts my heart. I ask you to pray for them. Keep in mind, down here we may be in places you yourself would not want to go near. However, up there when you’re walking through the gates, those same people could be right next to you.

So, with a sound mind, I am ready to watch my wife work her magic at the Invitation. I will be out serving my friends on the street. Watching my kids grow in the ministry as seen above with Abby my Angel praying. And now I know where to take those in need. It is one of the deals you need to see to believe. And I believe!!!! Pastor Bubba, is all new and improved. Yes I said that before, but I have the proof now. We will be back on the front line, fighting off Satan and his demons, and I know Satan is Hot, LOL, that’s funny. Let's not lose any more friends.
If you have any comments or questions please let me know. www.pastorbubba@lightofsalvation.com

My final thought. Do you ever wonder about being someone else? I do and since the Shoe (for my wife) O-H- - !!!!!! Keep in mind where you end we pick up, I-O-W-A. Lol!!!I thought how would it be to be Jesus? I have decided I am glad that job is taken. I mean, I love the Big Ten season too much! He already knows what the play is going to be and what is going to be the final score. I will keep being Bubba! God Bless!!!!!


Michael J. Hogan
"Bubba"

Pastor Bubba and his beautiful wife Nicole